Mark McGwire “comes clean” on steroids.  Ernie Banks says Sosa should too.  Carlton Fisk is crunching his own numbers to re-evaluate careers in the steroid era.  A butterfly effect has been introduced- wondering what lives McGwire ruined.  A dealer wants to implicate Michael Vick in a steroid scandal, but the news does not care about steroids in football.  Sports fans only care about comparing records over earas.   The NFL didn’t even care about most stats until the 1990s.  All Baseball stats from the 1920s were lies from drunk reporters.

FINALLY, Cleveland has been given some thing (a disease) that can scare the opposition.  It is to be embraced:

]]> http://visitorslockerroom.com/2009/10/23/a-nickel-of-offense-is/feed/ 0 http://visitorslockerroom.com/2009/09/22/nice-shirt/ http://visitorslockerroom.com/2009/09/22/nice-shirt/#comments Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:24:57 +0000 Sean Flannery http://visitorslockerroom.com/?p=188

Some photos of Colin and I from this weekend

I actually wore this shirt –my 1985 Super Bowl Champions Bears shirt– and
it created a semi-awkward moment at a bar last week that I’ve been meaning to share.

–A women who looked, at most my age yet, in all likelihood younger, approached me–

WOMAN:    ”I just wanted you to know: I love your shirt! And I wanted to say,
I was at this bar when I watched that game!”.

I was amazed. Here’s this woman, who I thought to be –tops– 28, telling me
that she was old enough to have a beer in a bar in 1985.

ME:    ”Wow. You’ve aged really well”.

WOMAN:    ”Yeah, sure.” (said in mock encouragement).

–She then passes a dismayed “can you believe this
guy” look to her friend.–

–She rolls her eyes again.–

I start to wonder why she’s so mad about a compliment on her aging. Even if it was
stated a little awkwardly- it was sincere.

That’s when it hits me: “she thinks I’m hitting on her!“.

ME:    ”You know, I really meant that: you’ve aged great”.

–Her jaw nearly drops.–

WOMAN:    ”What??”.

SEAN:    ”Come on- you must know that. .. ..You know, not every thing a man says is a line”.

I start scratching my temple, during these final points, so she will see my wedding ring. I
think this will further assure her that I am not flirting

SEAN:    ”Some things are just facts- some people age really well and you
happen to be one of them”.

–Now she just looks confused… I am talking about the year 2007 like I have been
in a space ship during the mean time and do not understand how humans have aged–

–Her friend walks over and joins us. He points to me–

FRIEND:    ”Oh, great shirt, man”

–He looks as young as her. He then turns to her–

FRIEND:    ”We saw that game here, remember?”

Jesus- there are two of them!

FRIEND:    ”Where did you see it?” (to me).

SEAN:    ”At my best friend’s sleep over”.

–They now think they are talking to the weirdest man on Earth. A full grown man who
still introduces people as “his best friend in the world” and says “sleeping over” rather than
“crashing on a couch”. –

Even I am starting to detect the strangeness. Every one is glancing at each other with squinted,
confused eyes, as though to say, “do you have any idea what’s going on here?”.

Luckily her friend then adds, almost in a near panic to change the topic

FRIEND:    ”Rex Grossman really shit the bed in that one”.

Oh my God. They are talking about 2007. Worst yet, they think I’ve been talking about
2007, when, in fact, I’ve been talking about fourth grade. Fuck.

Screw it. I just gotta get out of here. I’ll probably just make things more confusing
if I try to explain the difference between the two Super Bowls to these guys.

SEAN:    ”I have to go find my best friend”.

And I walked away.

I told my wife the story when I arrived home. “God you’re awkward with women”, she
said- “it could not have happened to any one else”.

She blames my awkwardness. I blame America’s
inability to read Roman numerals. If the NFL just started using regular numbers for the
Super Bowl (like every other company on Earth that releases more than five versions of
a product), all of this could be avoided.

The low hanging, massive jumbo tron at the Dallas Cowboys’ new stadium was hit by a punt last night. Tennessee coach Jeff Fisher (who’s punter hit the jumbo tron) said the giant video screen could be a problem on punts.

Dallas owner Jerry Jones was hilariously dismissive of the problem (from the AP report):

“If your desire is to punt the ball straight up and hard, I can do that,” Jones said, according to the Dallas Morning News. “The height that we’ve got it wouldn’t [affect] normal kicks unless somebody just wanted to hit it.”

By rule in football, the play is ruled dead if a punt hits some thing above the field of play. The down is then re-played, meaning, Jones is not being far sighted if he does not see a possible problem.

Here is my list of inventive ways to use this new jumbo tron to your team’s advantage:

• Tired defense? Has your defense been on the field the whole game and now, after another three-and-out series by the offense, you’re worried about their stamina? Well, give them a rest by having your punter hit the scoreboard 20 times in a row.

• Screwed by a NFL ruling? Has the NFL recently ruled against your franchise in, say, a salary cap dispute? Then there’s no better way to get back at them than turning a prime time game against American’s team into a seven hour marathon where networks will have no chances to run commercials. Tell your punter to hit the scoreboard, on purpose, for two straight hours.

• Worried a fake punt won’t catch the defense by surprise? It will if you hit the jumbo tron for 17 straight attempts and then, out of no where, just have the long snapper run it up the middle on attempt 18.

• About to be sacked? Have your quarterback throw it straight up at the jumbo tron. They can’t call “intentional grounding”, if you’ve thrown it straight up, right?

My recap of every ad on Fox today, during the game:

                
        
(image by Sean Flannery, visitorslockerroom.com) ]]> http://visitorslockerroom.com/2009/08/22/talking-with-dad/feed/ 0 http://visitorslockerroom.com/2009/07/22/some-one-did-what/ http://visitorslockerroom.com/2009/07/22/some-one-did-what/#comments Wed, 22 Jul 2009 17:24:58 +0000 Sean Flannery http://visitorslockerroom.com/?p=157 Sports blogs are all decrying the peephole video of popular ESPN side line reporter Erin Andrews that has surfaced over the weekend
(report). They are reminding every one that it is a sick crime- even refusing to link to it, as that would only add publicity (even though they have never refused to link to unsuspecting photos of Erin Andrews before).