The NFL's recent domination of media attention took a minor setback with the announcement of the end of the NBA lockout. Finally, a sports story came out that did not take place inside of a Happy Valley shower that merited talking about other than Yahweh Tittle Tebow himself.
Much like the fake NFL lockout, no one was really sure what is was all about. NBA teams were upset when their star players would leave their dull cities to go play with their friends in new exciting towns. When Lebron James and Carmelo Anthony fled Cleveland and Denver for Miami and New York, owners cried "small market" foul.
The NBA is not Major League Baseball, where the small market teams literally can not afford to pay for superstars. Cleveland had plenty of money to offer Lebron James, and they did, he just couldn't live in Cleveland anymore. I know a lot of Cleveland fans who were furious with James' Decision to move to a nicer city to work a better job, none of those people still live in Cleveland.
That is what makes the NBA problem more personal to the owners and fans. It is not about an unfair system of economics, it is about them and their lives. Players are not chasing a dream and moving on as much as they are running away from them.
Most of the same problems still exist, as the only tweaking the NBA did was allowing the original boring team to offer more money to their star than others are allowed. An extra $20 million in cap space is not going to help Orlando convince Dwight Howard how living his entire 20s in Disney World is equally as exciting as being a young superstar in New York City.
The only way for small market teams to be able to keep their best players is to simply find a boring superstar who doesn't want or even know of a better way. Basically, one needs to find the next Tim Duncan.
The Spurs are the best dynasty in sports who simply get it. They won four championships fully embracing the "boring" philosophy. From their convention center town, to their droopy islander power forward, and interchangeable European underhanded scoop shooting guards, the Spurs love to bore. Boring stays put, and the bombs move on.
New England -7 @ Denver:
The Tim Tebow phenomenon is made for ESPN. The sports monopoly channel loves to shove athletes down our throats and then engage in week long empty debates about them.
ESPN fully embraced Tebow in college when they would endlessly hype up him as the great moral character and leader he seems to be. So much so, that it naturally created a flip side of people that grew to resent Tebow for all of his endless idolization he received.
Judgement day for the Denver Tebows?
Once ESPN squeezed every drop of converted water into wine from the college star, almost everyone now despised him and wished for his failure in the pros. ESPN quickly obliged, and went on the attack, unleashing all of their meat dope analysts to scream through the television how he is not a pro quarterback. They "Favre'd" him.
Now that Tebow's unconventional style of play has captured the nation with a series of incredible fourth quarter comeback wins, ESPN was only happy to flip sides. For the last month, they have only talked about Tebow and the magical events that occur around him.
ESPN's morning fake debate show, "First Take", stars the ultimate personality that defines their brand, Skip Bayless. For weeks, the show is Skip Bayless screaming at different black guys about how great Tim Tebow is.
Bayless and ESPN do not care what side of a debate they are on, as long as it is a side. What makes the show hilarious is when a new panelist is brought in to battle with Bayless, and they have no idea what the rules are. Usually it is an ex coach or journalist who enters with logical points and a reasonable sense of perspective. That doesn't fly with Skip.
The genius of Skip Bayless is best described by the hilarious Sean Flannery.
The point is that this Tim Tebow thing is ready to pop again and turn in the opposite direction, so ESPN can "move the needle". Now many have tried to stone the Christback in the last 2 months, and they have failed.
This is because their own evil could not measure up to the level of moral good that is Tebow, and they were blinded by Him. To beat Tebow, one must be fully commited to the darkness and thrive in the destruction of any form of deity. Our gambling Dark Lord arrives this Sunday in the form of the hooded horseman, Bill Belichick.
Belichick already began playing the part early during the week by giving his usual false compliments to Tebow to soften him up for the slaying. He said not only does he have great skills but that Tebow is a lot like Mike Vick, maybe because watching Tim play is akin to dog torture.
Bottom Line: New England -7 3 bombs!!!!
Cleveland +6.5 @ Arizona:
One good thing that has come out of all the media attention given to Tebow is that teams can get away with anything they want and no one will care, like hiding brain injuries.
Browns QB Colt McCoy suffered a severe crashing of his brain last week from the helmet of Steeler hit man James Harrison. Harrison makes a living off damaging light armed quarterbacks brains and continues to get fined or suspended for inducing numerous concussions. He simply can not help himself, it is what he does, and he is very good at doing it. He hurts players brains, and everyone knows it.
Put me back in, coach!
Everyone watched McCoy suffer an obvious concussion and get knocked unconscious late in their game versus the Steelers. Backup Seneca Wallace entered and dangerously put the Browns within scoring distance. Wallace apparently wanted to win the game, which would severely damage the Browns draft positioning.
Browns management was on to this, and they called for an immediate stop by re-entering Colt McCoy into the game. Colt quickly saved the day by finishing the game with mental capacity of a George Romero zombie. Colt quickly threw interception after interception with loose Chow Mein bouncing around his head, thus sealing the all important Browns loss.
General Manager Mike Holmgren was asked the obvious question this week, of why he would allow a man to play an NFL game with temporary brain damage. Holmgren responded that McCoy told them he hurt his elbow and everything seemed to be fine. Really Mike? You asked the trauma victim if he was okay? Did you not see the 45 replays of the confirmed brain killing Linebacker destroy your franchise's cerebellum?
I'm sure McCoy did say that, because he didn't want to lead on that he had a concussion and appear soft to his teammates. He also probably said that because part of his brain was still inside his helmet.
This week, actual doctors will not allow McCoy to play, thus giving Seneca Wallace his second chance at victory. Wallace does not care about the future of the Browns, as he clearly will not be a part of it, so he will set his mind to winning.
Bottom Line: Browns +6.5
2 bombs!!
Oakland +1.5 vs Detroit:
The Detroit Lions are the new kid who transfers into your high school and tries to portray a false tough guy image. It is a defense mechanism, because deep down they are scared and in overwhelmingly frightening circumstances of trying to meet new friends who already have their established cliques.
The Lions have not been a good team in a long time, and now that they are they seem to be going out of their way to tell everyone how mean they are. The Lions play dirty, and relish in their self appointed role as mean bullies.
What... no good?
Detroit won last week's game on a blatant illegal face mask tackle, but the refs did not call the infraction because they believe in the lie. It is an easy image to portray because of the city the team dwells in is so downtrodden. This lie works on some teams that don't know any better.
This week they play a real tough guy in Oakland. Oakland is also a horrible city that has no future, but they never feel the need to cry about it and make commercials begging America to still buy their products.
Oakland has served real hard time, and they do not want to discuss it. The only thing they hate more than their rich preppy San Francisco neighbors, are fake hard guys.
This Sunday, the Raiders will silently knock out the Lions and force their father to finally enroll them into military school to shape up.
Bottom Line: Raiders +1.5
2 bombs!!!!!
Irish Car Bomb Detonation Game of the Week
Seattle +3.5 @ Chicago:
The Chicago Bears are a desperate team that is watching their playoff aspirations slip away. Their two best players, Jay Cutler and Matt Forte, have been sidelined for the year, and they are in a current free fall in need of help.
The Bears got their secret weapon this week in reserve wide receiver and drug lord Sam Hurd. Hurd was arrested this week trying to purchase nearly $1 million worth of cocaine and marijuana a week from a federal agent. He was building an entire drug cartel in the city of Chicago, with plans of nationwide expansion, and the Bears stupidly let him go.
CLACK! CLACK! Motha***kaaaaaaa!!!!
All the ownership had to do, was take the money they were not paying Fort with, use it to bail out Sam Hurd, and then start him this week versus Seattle. What Seahawk defender in their right mind would try to hurt, let alone tackle a known drug king pin that could have their family murdered before halftime?
Sam Hurd is a man who only plays professional football to keep the government away and stay on the grid. He is not someone even NFL players are willing to fuck with.
He actually has always had immense talent, but never wanted to start because it would garner too much attention and possibly effect his real bread maker, heavy narcotic selling.
Local media was mad that he was doing this alleged drug deal days before the biggest game of the season. Local drug dealers were more irate that he was playing in a meaningless game on punt coverage before the biggest drug deal of the season.
The Chicago Bears are not to be blamed for not knowing about Hurd's alternative life, because that is what his business is all about. Sam Hurd is the real deal, a living breathing Scarface, and the Bears lucked into having him on their roster.
Unfortunately, the Bears caved into public outcry and decided that employing a drug monster isn't the best PR move... have fun watching the playoffs goody two shoes.
Irish Car Bomb Game of the Week: Seattle +3.5
5 bombs!!!!!
Last Week: 3-1 (+8 bombs)
Year to date: 27-26-3 (+14 bombs)
Irish Car Bomb of the Week: 8-4-2
by admin
